Intimacy – “Spiritual Evolution of Lovers”

       When lovers become one, with a deep and natural feeling of trust and innocence between them, where there’s no defenses, inhibitions, fears, or moral judgments going on, rapport can be naturally established and they can share fully in each others experiences.  When achieving a state of intimacy that inhabits the deepest and most natural form of trust as bonding, we can witness each others life, by listening to our stories and recapturing the experience as accurately as possible in our own imagination which is almost the same as having the experience ourselves.  We get to practically double the amount of meaningful experiences we have because we step into and acquire the experiences from each other.  This is especially true in terms of highlights, thoughts and the debates they invoke, and the moral lesson inherent within them that helps us to grow by being able to define ourselves in relationship with the experiences themselves.

       Further bonuses are offered by the mere fact that it’s usually opposing viewpoints as man and woman sharing experiences that emphasize different qualities and perspectives other than our own.  Because our Spiritual development comes by way of life experiences, by acquiring more experience, we act to directly facilitate each others spiritual growth. The ability to do this however, takes skillful practice that will not only allow you to acquire their experiences, but form natural intimacy at the same time that creates a sense of deep bonding in the relationship itself which is deeply gratifying for both people.

       To witness another’s life, is to gain rapport, become fully present with them, and as they talk and tell you about the experience, you listen carefully and picture it as clearly as you can in your imagination while taking on the same perspective and the feeling emotional quality of it as the meaning it had, while making it as life-like as possible.  Imagine it, not from a critical perspective of wanting or feeling the need to change the telling, or correct and reinterpret it somehow, but as if you are actually having it in the same manner that they did, looking at it the same way and feeling the same way about it.  In this you will literally become of the same mind as the other and can recapture the experience as an impression with striking accuracy.  You not only acquire the experience as a form of mental-emotional diversity, but gain an intimate understanding of your lover at the same time.  Not as you would have them be, but as they actually are.

       The act of witnessing as forming union perceptually and emotionally with your lover, creates rapport as energetic sympathy, which literally alters each persons vibration by forming resonance.  We become like each other in the realest sense. The act of being able to share fully without judgment or commentary allows healing of the same idea for both people.  What tends to cause problems in the ultimate sense is when we repress feeling experiences because we are made wrong somehow, or can’t actually express it because someone is reacting to it, or we’re afraid of how they will react, so we edit it, or we feel embarrassed or ashamed somehow, so we hold back and create an entirely private aspect our self that becomes our shadow aspect.  Instead of expressing, we maintain the feeling emotion inside and it develops into a complex.  We then hide things from our partner not out of maliciousness or intentional deceit, but because we are not given a safe space to share our feelings as they really are without fear of retaliation somehow.

       When we share openly and step into each others experiences having them as one, it grows us as it heals us in the most expediential way possible. Growth is greatly accelerated for both people. This creates the type of environment that will cause us to stretch, elevate and employ our best qualities born out of our virtues.  The act of witnessing by merging with and into one another, allowing free and spontaneous expression as the most primary form of compassion heals both people simultaneously of the same feeling-emotional issue. This type of healing is miraculous in nature because it heals at the level in which the issue was incurred, preventing it from becoming an issue because it is never repressed to begin with.  This is the true meaning of prevention.  To be able to express ourselves fully in the presence of unconditional love has an instant healing effect as well as a lingering euphoric contentment.  Love expands fully into itself while in a relaxed state.  Trust and compassion open us with a natural desire to joyfully expand into it, relax and release.

       So marriage in its highest potential, connects us, grows and expands us, while simultaneously healing us.  And the best part is it does it through the greatest form of pleasure there is.  Love that’s demonstrated, made real by doing it.  It works in the most positive and beneficial way possible . . . through personal and spiritual fulfillment that creates a deep feeling of contentment as bliss.  Our whole being is saturated with the most beautiful of all experiences that exists in a natural state of unity as holistic and breathtakingly erotic that merges into us, and moves us at our very depths. 

Genius if you ask me!!  J

 Linda Gadbois, DES., CCHt.

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       Part of the reason there is such a debate about the Law of Attraction, is because it’s not presented in a fully accurate way.  It’s skewed, and creates the wrong idea about what it actually is and how to work with it.  In the scientific realm, there is no such thing as the law of attraction, but rather the Law of Resonance.  There is a huge difference in what they indicate.  The law of attraction says that you can attract something just by thinking about it, imagining it “as if” it’s already a reality and by intensifying “feelings” around it.  Creating a strong desire for it and setting an expectation of receiving it.  And while we can also say that we can only imagine what’s “in us” as a possibility, this does not pertain to material objects, or the ego based cravings for material luxury.  It also does not take into account the free will and benefit of others who are affected by our wishes. It says that you don’t attract based on what and who you are, but rather your ability to create an illusion in your mind that has no basis in reality.

      The law of attraction also does not even recognize or address the power of beliefs, the binding effect of emotions, what we call forth and establish by the stories we tell about ourselves, the need to work within the greater Will, and the Law of Availability, Law of Binding and the Law of the Barrier.  It approaches what is a masterful science based on an entire equation that has to be practiced to high levels of mastery as if it’s a child’s game.  It takes a profound Art and makes it seem easy as a means of being able to sell it to the general public that is not willing to do the true work that it takes, but is looking for a quick fix instead.  A weekend seminar on “how to manifest stuff”. The general public doesn’t know what the truth is, and is not willing to do the work it takes, and so they are prone to magical tricks in light of skillful disciplines.  Any equation that has only a partial truth can be sold to those who lack true knowledge because they simply don’t know any better.   

       The Law of Resonance basically says that we are drawn to, and draw to us that which is like us.  We attract based on the vibration of our primary state and the models as dynamic behavior patterns that we use as mental constructs to form our experience of reality.  Whatever vibrations we put off in a consistent manner, is the actual attraction factor.  If we only focus on a wish for five minutes, visualize as if, then go about the rest of our day engaged in our normal mind-set that does not naturally incorporate or include what we wish for as a natural correspondence, then the vibration of the wish is cancelled out by all the dominating vibrations which are consistent in nature.  Waves as vibrations are “cancelled out” by contradictory waves. What we think about most often, believe is going to happen, and set an expectation for, is what we form resonance with out in our environment.

      True Laws also work in a harmonious fashion with other Laws, they do not pretend to stand independent of and therefore defy other Laws. They work by way of a dynamic interaction.  What they call the Law of Attraction, even in its best light, is not about manifesting material objects, that would be an ego gratification, its about our ability to develop ourselves through our character traits and create desired experiences, or become masterful in using our minds to think in new and different ways, and create as a result.  We only truly have control over ourselves.  Everything else is a co-creative process that has to take into account the will and desire of others.  Also, if we were able to manifest big houses, fancy cars, and jewelry we would rape the earth at an even greater rate than we already are.

        The other thing that people don’t take into consideration is the Law of Divine Providence that is basically perceived as the “Greater Will” that takes morality into consideration and has an attitude of seeking what’s best for all people, not just a selfish few.  While we can make the decisions for ourselves, our ability to impose a powerful influence outside of ourselves on others and the material world, is very limited.  The way to influence reality is by using our mind to work cooperatively with the natural forces of nature within our sphere of influence.  We also have to understand the Law of Evolution which grows in increments and stages that have to be integrated before the next one becomes possible. Life naturally progresses in stages, natural rhythms and cycles.  Quantum leaps are few and far between and usually considered an enigma.

       In all forms of Initiation into Spiritual Mastery purification of the character is required.  This purification is so that power is not used for personal gain, but rather to be put at the service of others by surrendering to Divine Providence which guides us through the alignment of our personal will with a Higher Will.  Selfish endeavors, especially by the weak minded, seldom produce any effect at all, but rather become the consumers for those who claim to have the answer in “7 easy steps”.  Others jump on the band wagon and milk it for everything they can before it fades into a fad once people realize it was based on an illusion that aligned with a glimmer of truth.  This is a classic example of the blind leading the blind. 

 Linda Gadbois, DES, CCHt.

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Sex - Transcending the Self

        Relating deeply to another person, entails, in one way a strange kind of death – of letting go, relaxing into, and breaking down barriers created by the ego. It is only through the death of our ego, that we are able to be reborn into a higher form of conscious freedom. The “I” is reborn as “we”.  We indicates much greater expansion and personal freedom. Through various forms of relationship we joyfully plunge into the world of another. Through sex and the intimacy it brings, we expose parts of ourselves, normally hidden, often even to ourselves.

       Through sex and the act of sensuous love-making, we are able to experience the most immediate and joyful form of self-transcendence - the Divine union of our “self” with another “self”. In the burning heights of ecstasy we readily abandon and often completely forget ourselves while merging deeply with another. This is why the orgasm is referred to as the “little death”.  In the moment of heightened pleasure, we become fully present in our bodies, consumed in the intensity of the moment and all thoughts are swept from our mind and we relish in pure experience as our greatest pleasure.

       Relationships are the greatest and most natural catalyst for change. We change in a relationship without even recognizing it.  Intimate relationships have an immediate a deep influence over us.  It cleanses and regenerates by calling to the surface any unresolved, unconscious issues from previous relationships, that are a result of bonding issues around our father and mother. 

        Of all relationships we have, the first one, with our Mother is the most highly charged, influential and psychologically significant.  It marks our imprinting by creating issues around survival and fulfillment dynamics of a primarily emotional nature that form the basis of all intimate relationships throughout our lives. Because our Mother cares and protects us, she represents the most basic form of survival that becomes deeply imprinted in the psyche. The loss of our Mothers love represents abandonment and death both emotionally and physically.  Our relationship with our Mother forms the most basic pattern that is continually reflected in all other relationships, regardless of their nature.  It is only by becoming aware of unresolved fears that we can express and release them.

       In intense relationships we descend into the depths of our being and discover our most primordial instinctual inheritance – envy, shame, greed, jealously, guilt, anger, prowess, rage, passion – our need and pattern of fulfillment around issues of power and control.  Often there are destructive or self-sabotaging fantasies lurking just beneath the surface of what seems like an otherwise calm surface.  Most problems stem from a denial of our instinctual, animalistic tendencies which we were taught to shame and feel guilt around. By embracing these and finding a healthy expression, we can cleanse them.  We cannot transform something we condemn because we deny it.  Anything we deny, we project and create self-hate around.  The hatred forms a kind of toxicity that poisons everything without our awareness.  The dark side of our nature, which is most prominent sexually must be brought forth in order to be consciously purged so we can be born again fresh and revitalized.

       Whenever we deny or repress our dark side, we contain and hold a vast reservoir of psychic energy. To first recognize, acknowledge and then own our dark nature does not mean that we have to act on them indiscriminately, but rather choose to express them with greater awareness by finding an appropriate outlet.  By owning and accepting them, we can choose to contain them, or find other means of expressing them that will be mutually satisfying with our partner. We hold unconscious energy in our bodies.  By owning them, gaining full awareness around them, we can free them for other means of expression. We can discharge the trapped energy from our body.  By diverting it into other forms of expression, we can integrate it back into the psyche in a healthy manner.

       Whatever script we run through our minds as the primary story we tell that illustrates our beliefs as our personal version of reality, we form a vibrational match that attracts to us the fulfillment of the dynamic as an energetic pattern. Through psychic determinism – we have the mysterious and innate ability to attract into, and be attracted by the very people and situations that provide the ideal means for expression.  Our dynamics, patterns that we were imprinted with during our formative years, become vibratory frequencies that act like beacons that send out signals and flag down anything of the same quality and nature.  We attract to us unconsciously the perfect people to act out our dynamics.

      When we engage in intimate sexual relationships, things that we are not consciously aware of still impose an influence energetically.  By engaging in sexual intimacy, our energy field literally merge, bond and become of the same nature as the other. Sometimes we can sense things about ourselves that we can’t perceive intellectually as a general rule, and it helps provide us with the tools to become more self-aware.  We also experience our greatest inhibitions, fears and limitations during intimate sexual encounters. By resolving them with a loving partner, we can automatically heal the same inhibitions in all areas of our lives, particularly in the areas of creativity, personal power, self-confidence and money.

       By first recognizing and experiencing ourselves more fully through intimate encounters, we can then work through issues that bind and control us without our awareness. By working through and releasing these, we can experience a whole new level of freedom through truly merging with another and loosing all sense of ourselves as separate and apart.  We literally become one with our lover symbolically, emotionally and physically.  At no other time do me have the opportunity to fully merge energetically and spiritually with another than through loving sex that creates deep feelings of intimacy and vulnerability.  Energy blends energy through resonance much more readily than any other aspect of our being.  Sex that is physically pleasurable, emotionally gratifying, creates a deepened sense of intimacy and connection, allows us to express love at deeper and more profound levels, which is also passionate and exciting, is the most beautiful holistic experience we can have.  Nothing is more fulfilling than feeling apart of something greater than ourselves that we love and adore and feel completely devoted to.

Linda Gadbois, DES., CCHt.

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The Evolution of Love

       If we break the universe down into fundamental terms of energy forming matter, we can say that the evolution of love is nothing more than energy transformed into the expression of love. Life itself, as an evolutionary process is about energy being transformed into “form” as the animating quality that creates behavior. The seed can only become the sprout when it is planted under the soil, which presses down on it, stimulating it, while providing the right conditions for awakening and exciting it which activates the process for transforming it into a plant. Anyone who is against the potential of the seed to become a plant never allows it to be planted (introduced into the mind) and so it never grows, but remains dormant as pure potential for growth that remains unrealized.

       When we form a basic opposition to sex as the seed that can be transformed into love, we destroy the vehicle for love at its foundation. The temple of the Goddess crumbles before it is constructed. We prevent its birth by never giving it the opportunity to grow inside of us. Acceptance is needed for evolution. Evolution is the natural process of transformation. How can something that we perceive as adverse - that we oppose at the primary level of acceptance – that causes us to struggle endlessly and outright fight with it be transformed through us into its higher possibility for expression? If we don’t plant the seed which contains the potential for the sprout, which evolves into the plant, which blossoms producing fruit, which can then be consumed and assimilated into fleshy substance as our body, how can we ever come to know it for its true potential by serving as the means for transforming it into its highest good?

       We have been set against our own nature at the primary level. Opposed to our own energy. We have taken a position resisting our own sexual energy and becoming the vessel for sexual expression into a higher form of love. On the surface we are seemingly being taught to create balance and harmony by learning how to transform all internal conflicts, and then in the next moment we are set against our own nature and taught to resist it. We embrace the idea of transcending it, yet we can’t transcend what we deny. The act of denial becomes the cage in which the very thing we seek to avoid becomes hopelessly caught.

       We can only transform that which we willingly and joyfully bring into expression allowing its natural tendency to evolve to higher and more complex forms of expression. The denial of our own primal nature creates an internal conflict which retards our own personal growth. We are limited to the same degree as we judge the evolutionary forces that serve to grow us. Our lower nature must be transformed into expressions of our higher nature.

       We can never be separated from sex in the real sense. Sex is the source of life – the primal energy of becoming. Sex is the energy as behavior, the arousing exciting forces that underlies all of life. Sex is the creative force that compels everything to grow and expand into higher and more complex versions of it self by expressing its capacity as potential in-form. All of life is a seed that is nurtured under the right conditions encouraging it to grow, undergoing the natural process of transformation allowing it to become. 

      Yet religion has called sex sinful. In doing this, it holds us to our lower nature preventing us from transcending into higher and more diverse forms of expression. If we consider sex as the starting point to creation, and realize God as the creator, then we are saying that God is the greatest sinner of all. God, as life-force is the behavior and movement that births and forms all life out of a desire for it self, to know itself, as something concrete and therefore perceivable.  Consider the flower blooming as an act of sexual passion that serves no purpose other than bringing erotic beauty into the world to be beheld as stunningly intoxicating. Creating a sense of euphoria that awakens the senses and enlivens the soul with endless possibilities for becoming beauty in form. 

Linda Gadbois, DES, CCHt., RMT

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Ecstasy – “Intensely Blissful”

     The state ecstasy is related to the sense of touch, which corresponds to coition, in which touch is the most active sense. Sexual intercourse as the experience of union with the Supreme Self – is intensely blissful. Ecstasy as the sexual embrace represents merging into and becoming apart of. As in the “Song of Solomon” – the mystical poetry of Persian Sufi’s – the best minds in human history have not scrupled to employ intensely erotic images as a means of describing the bliss of the union with the One.

      We were separated and an intense desire for each other placed in our hearts so that we could know the pleasure of coming together. To say that God made the orgasm the best possible experience we can possibly know in physical form because we are supposed to resist it, or only use it for the animalistic act of reproducing is to say that God doesn’t understand its own creation.  The mind naturally moves towards and into pleasure. While moving away from, pulling back and refraining from pain or discomfort.

       The reason that the orgasm achieved through sexual union represents the greatest and most profound symbol of aspects of the “self” merging back into one as the greatest pleasure we can know, is to ensure that we do it as often as possible. To attach a form of “dirty idea” to this and defiling it by saying that it means that we to do it with just anybody, demonstrates a lack of belief in your own moral fiber which honors our lower nature as an impulse looking for an outlet.

       Higher sexual expression is only achieved through the intimate bonding of our other half, the one that we have a deep and natural love for. The one person as our chosen mate, that we are truly able to achieve intimacy with as a spontaneous and natural state of mergence. This is why it has been further symbolized as the divine union of marriage, where two become one through the blending of their energy field and the mutual experience of ecstatic emotion that pervades it becoming shared.

      By bringing beauty back into our sexual nature, and seeing it for the real opportunity that it offers, is to come to know God not in theory, but in actual practice. To love another requires us to become love itself and simultaneously express love for and of God, who is not only us, but the other, as well as life itself.  Whatever experiences we create are expressing “God” through experiences of Itself. To love another is to love God. To merge with, and become one with another, is to know God.

      This is why the mystical experience views God as lover and beloved. In life this is the natural state that creates the desire for union and makes union possible. The mystical experience is the supreme expression of the subconscious (feminine) as memory and association, when we re-member ourselves we experience the blissful merging of personal conscious (masculine) with the Universal (One). This demonstrates the state in which the highest manifestation of self-consciousness is experienced.

     This is the state that has been referred to by Mystics as “heaven”. Jesus states that in heaven there is no marriage, nor giving of another in marriage - because the blissful state of union – there is no sense of otherness or an experience of separation. In the moment of blissful orgasm, all distinction of separate personalities, and consequently of sex, are completely obliterated. They cease to exist, because thoughts which create concepts of separation cease to exist.

       Peak experience, is the true knowledge of reality and the self as one and the same. Thought creates the perception of separation by forming self-concepts. Experience knows “as”. It doesn’t need to separate in order to perceive in an attempt to understand. Truth is knowledge. Knowledge is experience. Experience is all-knowing without reasoning or explanation. It knows through direct experience that is uncommunicatable.

       We only make things right or wrong, good or bad, raunchy or beautiful, by how we think about them. Truth itself exists outside of thought-processes. Truth cannot be known by thinking about it – it can only be known through the experience of it – which imbues us with the most fundamental form of understanding.

Linda Gadbois, DES, CCHt.

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Sex – Why is the Topic of Sex so Taboo?

     Why does the topic of sex make people so uncomfortable? We seem to have more issues, judgments and inhibitions around this area of our life than any other. Most of us have been raised with a repressed sex life. Religious icons have been presented as being pure in nature because they openly deny their sexual nature. Many have been told that sex, and even thoughts of sex, are basically sinful, and something you shouldn’t do or have. This not only creates endless inhibitions motivated by shame and guilt, but also set the premise for feeling ashamed of our bodies which is the vehicle through which we have sex, crave it, and ultimately feel satisfied by it.

      Yet at the energetic level, as our primary nature, sex is our life-force energy. Our sexual energy is the energy of life itself. Sexual behavior governs all of life as we know it. Perhaps the real question is what you choose to do with your sexual energy. It is the intention which directs the behavior that defines the nature of the experience. You can certainly use it in sinful ways that breed the taboo aspects, or you can use it for the power it possesses to achieve the highest peaks of consciousness that we know of. Like all energy and natural forces that pervade all of life as the basic tools for self-expression, it all depends on how you use it. It is neutral and void of meaning until we shape and direct it with our emotional thoughts that motivate and imbue behavior with like qualities to create certain types of experiences.

       Sex, in its primary state, is bioelectricity, and just as electricity exists as a neutral uncontained force in nature - when contained, channeled and directed, it can be used to light a house, cook a meal, or cook a man – it’s the same force used in a different way, with a different intention. The intention that we embody while engaging in sex shapes its meaning and determines the nature of the experience we create as a result.

        The first principle that must be employed is to not condemn it. Whatever we condemn we can’t use effectively or use as a creative force in an intentional manner. The intent for it, as well as the feelings around it become clouded and blocked, preventing its potential for higher forms of expression. The moment you condemn anything, you can’t use it – you set up a natural resistance to it – you create conflicting thoughts and emotions that serve to cancel it out, or corrupt its power by forming guilt and shame around it which are inhibiting forces.  Negative emotions serve to contract, pullback, endlessly censor, and ultimately prevent.

       Sex and our sexuality needs to be viewed as a perfectly natural part of life. It is through sex that extreme levels of fulfillment are possible through peak experiences. It should be viewed as a basic human need. Sex is love expressed with our whole body, our whole being. Sex when joined with meditation, changes the entire nature of the experience by concentrating it with extreme body awareness and presence. Sex without a concentrated mind, simply creates lust and bares children. Sex with meditation can birth you and your partner as whole new human beings. The sexual peak of orgasm formed the basis for meditation as an original practice by the Yogi’s who wrote erotic love poems to the Beloved (God) and coined the term “Bliss” as ecstasy. It is the most natural experience for achieving ecstatic emotion void of thoughts. It’s pure pleasure as experience.   

 Linda Gadbois, DES, CCHt., RMT

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Sexual Meditation- "Meditating While Making Love"

      Meditating while having sex changes the entire experience, in terms of how we experience it.  While you can’t have sex while meditating, you can meditate while having making love.  Making love is one of the most sensuous, deep, and internally peaceful states where deeper forms of meditation are easily and naturally achieved.  When approaching an orgasmic experience, all thoughts cease and we become pure expanding energy that feels fluid and pulsating all over. By remaining fully alert and present in our bodies with whatever is happening and simply allow it, letting go of all need to control or contain it – holding the intensity in our body without letting it overwhelm us – till we reach the escalating point of no return, and then, just watch, observe and concentrate on the experience of what energy feels like rising, expanding and swelling stimulating every inch of our body.

      This provides the greatest ability of inner observing, when we simply stay present within the experience and cultivate an attitude of observing the full sensations of the energy rising up in our body. We can easily stay present in the moment because sex is the most immediate and fully engrossing experience there is.  No other physical experience even compares with it.

      Some of our greatest suffering and feelings of isolation comes from sexual repression. The act that provides the greatest experience we can know and the greatest expression of union, through loving touch with our whole body offers the key to true liberation of the mind, body and soul as a single unified expression.

      When we meditate while making love we regenerate and renew ourselves from the soul-energetic level. We are able to realize first hand that we are truly a creation in process and not a finished product. The idea of becoming moves form conceptual theory that we contemplate to an actual experience. The body/mind experience is arousing, increasing, and expanding within itself becoming more, and more. 

      Sex for the purpose of procreation is an act of our lower self, as our animalistic impulses. Yet sex as the physical expression of love reaches higher and higher levels of conscious intelligence, when thought ceases and we become fully aware of our body as pure experience.  In doing this, we are able to reach higher and higher levels of pure consciousness.  In this, sex produces something much higher than physical life; it produces higher consciousness as an actual experience of itself in form.  When this happens, we begin loosing interest in sex itself, but rather seek the higher experience of which it serves as a kind of gateway.

      Once we are able to create these types of experiences in a consistent fashion, sex can appear dull, or even a perceived waste of energy as a small instant discharge that prevents the energy from building and expanding to greater intensities offering higher levels of pure pleasure. The interest then begins shifting to using sexual energy to create higher and higher points, referred to as enlightenment. The experience of higher consciousness that is void of thought.

 Linda Gadbois, DES., CCHt.

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Awakening Your Inner Lover – “Experiencing Pleasure”

        All experience is first created in the imagination as a reflection of our “mood” or state of mind.  We create an inner experience that becomes the organizing factor of our outer experience.  We create it on the inside, then project out onto our environment and create a corresponding expression through how we “emotionally interpret” things to give them meaning.  The meaning forms the basis for the “type” experience we create as a result.  This is the fundamental basis of “self-expression”. Our true creative ability lies in our capacity and skill for creating desired experiences.  We do this primarily by first recognizing what “feeling” we are longing for, then placing our attention on that feeling, holding it in our mind’s eye, noticing what the sensation is in our body, and allowing a kind of story to emerge out of it as a natural expression that is allowed and uncensored. The story demonstrates what type of experience will give us that feeling. Feelings have whole stories inherent in them as part of their archetypal nature.

      Our ability to not only imagine vividly, but experience fully comes by way of awakening our senses and using them to create intoxicating sensual experiences of a deeply erotic nature.  We have to marry eros to logos, use the emotional quality to fill and activate the mental impression.  Bring back our sensuality as a means of animating mental images with provocative qualities of being that excite and enliven us.  Qualities, embodied and expressed sensuously enhance our ability to cultivate deeply gratifying states of erotic beauty while exercising our creative powers to first create our internal state, then express ourselves, while having the experience our own creation. 

      Because we live in a society that is largely left-brained, overly intellectual and addicted to technology, we often lack the emotional skills and awareness necessary to directly connect to and become apart of our environment.  Our ability to feel fully present in our bodies while merging with our immediate experience has become dulled and unpracticed.  This has resulted in the resigned, lack-luster society that endlessly indulges in mundane mediocrity and has settled into a lifeless existence that we call normal.  We must retrain our minds to embrace our sensual nature and the pleasure that comes from learning how to increase our emotional energy that arouses our mind igniting our imagination with a sense of passion.  When we become passionate thinkers, the life we create is intoxicating and erotic, vivid and seductive, relentlessly calling us on.  No place is this ability more enriching than when we engage fully in the art of love-making.

       So we begin by intentionally creating the experiences designed to awaken our senses and enliven our bodies with erotic sensations that arouse our soul to higher states of consciousness.  Merging with the Beloved, becoming one with God, is symbolized by the experience of blending into another and loosing ourselves in euphoric states of eternal bliss. The experience of intense love that consumes the mind, body and emotions through a heightened and prolonged orgasm serves as a metaphor for the intense pleasure of merging back into and becoming one with our Creator. As above, so below, in our sexual experiences, like all of life, we are at once the creators, the creation itself, while having the experience of our creation. No place is this more evident than embracing the love of creating while seeking atonement of mind, body and spirit into the same act.

     In order to do this we must retrain our mind and body to work in-sync and increase our ability to receive pleasure, give it and become one-with it. Like learning the skills necessary for becoming the creator of any art-form, we must develop the ability for heightened sensory experience, and the ability to cultivate and maintain deep forms of pleasure for prolonged periods of time.

 Exercise for enhanced sensory pleasure of the body/mind:

·    Decide on what type of experience you wish to create – either as an expression of your current mood, or by embodying the qualities necessary to “create” your mood.

·    Create the proper ambiance for the “type” of experience desired so that it will unfold naturally. The environment that will elicit the same mood in your lover. This can be low lighting, candles, burning incense or potpourri, soft music, sexy attire or partial nudity, etc. (Think in terms of invoking as many senses as possible – visual, sound, smells, touch, taste, etc.)

·    Create the proper setting or stage – arrange the bed, use soft blankets, or silky sheets, arrange a place on the floor, someplace where you have full access to their body, and they to yours.

·    Have your lover put on a blind fold (removes distractions), and lay comfortably relaxed propped up by pillows. The visual aspect should be in what is being imagined through the other senses. Your lover has to fully receive the pleasure you are giving them, and their only response is in showing you what they like by moaning or moving their body (this way you get to know their pleasure zones).

·    In using touch and feeling sensations, think of as many different forms of touch that you can that are all done with your body. Fingers, hands, nails, running your body along theirs, pressing with different intensities, using the tip of your tongue, whole tongue, tickling, licking and sucking, gentle biting, stroking with your hair, blowing on their skin, etc.

·    Using sound intentionally as a form of expression, make a variety of sounds that match the touch. Soft lingering moans,, deep breathing, grunting, deep belly sounds, whispering sexy gestures, giggling, deep sighing, and whatever else feels right in the moment. Or match the touch to the rhythm of whatever music is playing.  

·    As you explore with your face and mouth, you take in all the smells and tastes. Become familiar with them. Associate them to your feelings of sexual arousal and how incredible it feels to give pleasure to your lover. Explore and taste all areas of their body while making sounds that express your pleasure.

·   Then, after fully explored and consumed, switch roles, and start again.  :-)

        Practice this, or experiences similar to this and it will allow your body to come alive, your emotions to soar, and your mind to feel the deep pervading sense of inner peace as the sweet afterglow of desire satisfied fully with deep feeling of love expressed with the body.  The greatest healing power there is, is the energy directed through human touch while filled with deep feelings of love.  While we tend to describe “human needs” in terms of physical survival, loving touch, energy infused with emotions of love and directed with intention, is the greatest healing power there is, and the primary “spiritual need” of our soul.  

 Linda Gadbois, DES., CCHt., RMT

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Creative Sexuality – “Sensuous Expression”

        All experience in the ultimate sense is a form of imagination or personal interpretation of neutral facts that determine what qualities we imbue things with, which create certain types of experiences. We could safely say that sex is 80% imagination, even when we are actually having it. How we use our mind to create the experience, determines the level of pleasure it offers as a result. Like most things, if we have bad, mundane or uninteresting experiences it’s a direct reflection of our own creative ability and mental attitude to a certain extent. If we simply blame it on our lover, we are not only making a fundamental error in our thinking, but we are missing the opportunity to exercise deeper forms of physical expression by how we first imagine it, “get into it”, act to provoke it, or how we go about it.

       The basis of Sacred Sexuality is to bring heightened awareness, absolute presence and a kind of meditative quality of sensory pleasure and spontaneous exploration to the sexual act. As with all of life, we are responsible for creating our own experiences. If we know how to do this and learn to practice it masterfully, our sex life and ability to create intimate experiences by feeling at one with our lover, sex becomes enlivening, fresh, and fills us with deep feelings of desire, openness, and vulnerability. It never becomes boring, ritualistic or mundane, even though our sexual life goes through cycles and stages just like every other aspect of our life does. Each experience is perceived as new, immediate and fully open to whatever the moment calls for. Spontaneity and provocative playfulness must be maintained and encouraged.

       Sex is meant to be fulfilling at all levels of our being, not just with the aim of having an orgasm. In Sacred Sexuality, the orgasm is not the actual goal. It is the ability to become fully enthralled with sensuous pleasure that we consciously build and intensify while holding and maintaining it at a heightened level of pleasure that is just short of the actual orgasm. This not only increases our ability to handle more intense forms of energy, but allows us to feel intense pleasure for extended periods of time, rather than a quick fix, or sex that lasts 5 minutes. In Kundalini, we must develop the ability to handle much stronger currents of energy without blowing a circuit. Tantra teaches us how to do this.

       Sex as an experience of intense love, is extremely gratifying emotionally, as affection that is deeply nourishing, mentally comforting, and promotes feelings of safety that allow for complete surrender and abandon, which is only possible through intimate trust and acceptance by and of our lover. As with all creative expression we have a range that serves a variety of moods – whether sweetly and with great tenderness, or playfully teasing and flirting . . . or aggressive and somewhat animalistic. Whatever serves the imagination and seems appropriate in the moment as a playful and erotic dance between sensuous lovers that is born in the moment and allowed to take on a life of its own.    

       To meditate during sex, or intimate moments of giving and receiving warm delicious affection, is to relax into your body, turn your attention inward and become fully engrossed in the physical sensations that are consuming you with tantalizing pleasure. To focus on the sensuous experience of touch, texture and temperature, wet and moist, or soft and dry . . . or the exotic image of beauty, dreamy and impressionistic, soft flowing curves with no distinct lines. Perhaps your inner response to the smell of warm skin, and the moist breath falling around you like morning dew teasing your mouth to explore and lick as if caressing with your fingertips. Get lost in the moment, and allow time to stand still and disappear from your awareness. Step into the flow and allow your body to respond intimately to/with your lovers every move.

       Allow the energy to move through you, as you. Don’t try to contain it, hold it back or make it wrong. Instead allow and encourage by how you respond to it. Be present in the midst of intense pleasure while holding it in your body for prolonged periods. Build and intensify, then hold momentarily . . . then relax. Teach your body how to hold higher levels of pleasure without exploding and expanding. Relish in it and allow it to consume you with complete abandon. Then, when you do decide to have your orgasm together, it will reach higher levels of intense pleasure, while lasting much longer. You will be able to experience the intensity of an orgasm for longer periods while not becoming overwhelmed. You will literally train your body and mind how to have greater and greater levels of pleasure. And the best part . . . you share it with your lover as the greatest gift of love, co-created as pure experience.  

Linda Gadbois, DES, CCHt., RMT

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Sexual Energy -  “Arousing Passion for Enhanced Creativity”

       Sexual energy is the energizing, arousing, excitable energy of our system. It is also our primary “creative energy”. It not only has a strong motivational quality – compelling us to “to do” something, become active – but also has the added quality of enticing us towards pleasurable activities, ones that are playful, enjoyable, sexy, or artistic in some fashion. They encourage us towards forms of self-expression that we find very pleasurable. It arouses and stirs our natural feelings of passion for life itself. When we are feeling passionate, we tend gravitate towards beauty, music, arts, things that we love and feel strongly about engaging in. We engage in areas of our life that offer deeper meaning and bring an over-all sense of well-being.

       It also has the quality of creating a desire to connect, to merge or become part of our own creation. To become fully present in the moment with what we are creating. This induces a natural state of what we call “flow”. Flow is when we are so present with our creation that we loose all sense of our self as an individual, as separate and apart from our creation, that we feel one and the same with creation itself. We become fully present in our body, aware of only the moment, and time itself ceases to exist. This is a very euphoric feeling that creates a form of inner calm that is hard to describe with words, its “pure form” as essential experience without a thought process. We create a true feeling of oneness which feeds our souls relentless longing to reconnect with our source, to become apart of something greater than ourselves. We are at once the creator, the creation while have the experience of creating.

        In the energy system of the body, represented by the “chakras”, sexual energy is considered the second chakra, the one governing the sexual organs of the ovaries and testis, the areas of our body involved in pro-creation. This naturally is the area of the body that we feel an arousing, exciting sensation in whenever we activate this energy. If you place both thumbs on your belly-button, facing each other, lay your hands on your abdomen and form a downward triangle or heart-shape by touching your index fingers, you are identifying the approximate location of this energy center.

      There are several ways to easily and intentionally activate this energy. We activate it anytime we want to use it intentionally to stimulate or arouse the rest of our system, or to bring a strong form of motivation to other areas of our life. Always keep in mind that energy is directed and shaped by the imagination. As you do these exercises, concentrate on feeling the stimulation in your body and allow it to feel very “sexy”. Energy is experienced as feeling sensations or “qualities” that stimulates emotions and thought processes of the same nature.

 Here are 3 easy and basic ways to stimulate and build the sexual energy:

1.     When making a triangle starting at your belly-button pointing down, relax and slightly bend your knees, and start a slight rhythmic bouncing up and down centering yourself out of your pelvic area. Then take your hands in the heart-shape and smack your abdomen vigorously to the beat of your bounce. Smack it very firmly and just shy of hurting. So that it stimulates this area of the body. This is best done to music or in a rhythmic flow. Do for 5-10 minutes.

2.     Vagina squeeze: Stand with knees slightly bent, pelvic relaxed, and consciously squeeze or tighten vaginal /groin muscles in and upward (rocking pelvis), hold, then out and downward. This is what we call “making babies” J. Again, allow your body to feel erotic and sexy while doing this. For added “toning”, tighten buttocks at the same time while squeezing in and up, then relax when going down and out. Do this for 3-5 minutes at a time.

3.     Pelvic dancing: Put on music with a strong rhythmic beat, and dance erotically concentrating on moving your pelvic and hip area with extreme range of motion. Not only back and forth, but in and out, around in circles, or making a figure ‘8”. This is not only fun to do, it will immediately elevate your mood as well as energize the rest of your body. Do it for as long as you like or have time for.

       Sexual energy is extremely beneficial not only for feeling sexy, more alive and passionate, but for inducing “highly creative states”. It’s the “quality” of passion as a deep desire for personal expression that can be channeled into a variety of activity increasing not only the creativity and playfulness that we bring to our actions, but also the pleasure we experience in doing it. This is the best energy for igniting the creative imagination causing ideas of a pleasurable nature to spontaneously arise and flow freely without inhibitions. It arouses and channels life force into any area of our life or system that we choose to direct it into.

"Enchantment"  by: Linda Gadbois

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