All content on
this page is designed for committed
relationships where increased intimacy
and loving expression is desired.
What makes sexuality "sacred" is the
attitude and intentions in which it is
expressed.
It's the
quality that we bring to our actions that
enhance their expressive abilities.
This is one of the
most important areas of our life in terms of
fulfillment and personal expression, and yet is
often the one we have the least amount of
training and guidance in. Because of this
we have developed a large array of inhibitions
and insecurities that can be readily remedied
with simple education and instruction.
Mentoring for Sensual Sexuality, deepened intimacy and the
Art of Love-making
Mentoring - Enhancing your Sensuality,
improving your sex life and ability to become an
excellent lover, by discovering your own style
of expression.
Help in developing your ability to give
and receive love more fully while creating
deepened states of intimacy. Deepen the
experience of union and bonding that lead to
heightened sense of fulfillment.
Help Overcome
your fears, inhibitions, negative judgments or
religious dogma.
Take action NOW
to improve the most important area of your life
- For Education, Mentoring, Counseling or
advising contact Dr. Linda at:
linda@creativetransformations.biz
Do you have a question about an intimate relationship or want ideas for learning
how to create more beautiful sexual experiences that will deepen feelings of
intimacy between you and your lover?
Why does the topic of sex make people so uncomfortable? We seem to have more
issues, judgments and inhibitions around this area of our life than any other.
Most of us have been raised with a repressed sex life. Religious icons have been
presented as being pure in nature because they openly deny their sexual nature.
Many have been told that sex, and even thoughts of sex, are basically sinful,
and something you shouldn’t do or have. This not only creates endless
inhibitions motivated by shame and guilt, but also set the premise for feeling
ashamed of our bodies which is the vehicle through which we have sex, crave it,
and ultimately feel satisfied by it.
Yet at the energetic level, as our primary nature, sex is our life-force energy.
Our sexual energy is the energy of life itself. Sexual behavior governs all of
life as we know it. Perhaps the real question is what you choose to do with your
sexual energy. It is the intention which directs the behavior that defines the
nature of the experience. You can certainly use it in sinful ways that breed the
taboo aspects, or you can use it for the power it possesses to achieve the
highest peaks of consciousness that we know of. Like all energy and natural
forces that pervade all of life as the basic tools for self-expression, it all
depends on how you use it. It is neutral and void of meaning until we shape and
direct it with our emotional thoughts that motivate and imbue behavior with like
qualities to create certain types of experiences.
Sex, in its primary state, is bioelectricity,
and just as electricity exists as a neutral uncontained force in nature - when
contained, channeled and directed, it can be used to light a house, cook a meal,
or cook a man – it’s the same force used in a different way, with a different
intention. The intention that we embody while engaging in sex shapes its meaning
and determines the nature of the experience we create as a result.
The first principle that must be employed is
to not condemn it. Whatever we condemn we can’t use effectively or use as a
creative force in an intentional manner. The intent for it, as well as the
feelings around it become clouded and blocked, preventing its potential for
higher forms of expression. The moment you condemn anything, you can’t use it –
you set up a natural resistance to it – you create conflicting thoughts and
emotions that serve to cancel it out, or corrupt its power by forming guilt and
shame around it which are inhibiting forces. Negative emotions serve to
contract, pullback, endlessly censor, and ultimately prevent.
Sex and our sexuality needs to be viewed as a perfectly natural part of life. It
is through sex that extreme levels of fulfillment are possible through peak
experiences. It should be viewed as a basic human need. Sex is love expressed
with our whole body, our whole being. Sex when joined with meditation, changes
the entire nature of the experience by concentrating it with extreme body
awareness and presence. Sex without a concentrated mind, simply creates lust and
bares children. Sex with meditation can birth you and your partner as whole new
human beings. The sexual peak of orgasm formed the basis for meditation as an
original practice by the Yogi’s who wrote erotic love poems to the Beloved (God)
and coined the term “Bliss” as ecstasy. It is the most natural experience for
achieving ecstatic emotion void of thoughts. It’s pure pleasure as experience.
Sacred sexuality describes the
sexual relationship between two people that have established deep feelings of
love, trust and creative expression. It should only be considered and taken up
in committed long-term relationships. This is an art-form that brings
creativity, sensuousness, and eroticism into loving expression through intimate
union and the merging of energy fields into one frequency that is shared,
established and maintained. It describes and symbolizes intimate sexual union as
the union with God or the Universal Life Force.
Basic ideas that you must
always keep in mind:
·Should
only be undertaken in a committed relationship. The ultimate goal or experience
is that of intimacy and spiritual union. This requires a deep level of trust and
consciousness by bothpartners. This is an
experience of total presence, heightened awareness and full participation.
·The
orgasm is not the ultimate goal in and of itself. The desired goal is the
ability to build and then maintain extreme levels of pleasure and absolute
presence that is experienced in conscious union with another that creates true
wholeness. This is the closest we can come to merging, fusing and melding into
another while still inhabiting separate bodies.
·You
must understand and take into consideration the nature and powerful effects of
energy transmission and integration. The basis of sexual union and energetic
sympathy is an energetic transfusion or exchange. You want to be very conscious
of selecting a partner of high character and elevated qualities. The union
shouldheighten, increase and expand
the energetic quality of both by forming resonance that moves it to a "higher
state" forming coherence.
·Intimacy
and emotional connection through sexual union is the greatest desire of all
human beings. We have to be aware that it is not something that only takes place
in the bedroom, sexual intimacy is on ongoing practice that marks the basic
expression of the daily relationship itself, of which the sexual act is but one
aspect.
·In
the relationship itself we practice higher consciousness by cultivating a loving
state-of-mind and focusing on what it is that warrants love, adoration,
admiration, respect, honor and reverence in each other. This develops a feeling
of devotion. Love anddevotion cultivated and
maintained for another, creates love and devotion for our self as well as makes
"us" the living expression of love and devotion in physical form (a channel for
it to flow into the world forming influence).
·Sexual
union is a metaphor or symbolic action for the nature of the relationship itself
as practiced in an ongoing, moment-by-moment, daily basis.
·This
is why it has become traditionally symbolized as marriage through Divine union
that was consummated with sexual union that produced an offspring that was born
in the image of both people as a single entity. This is the true significance of
the trinity – the One that exists in polarity as dynamic and magnetic aspects of
itselfthat interact in order to
self-actualize. The single mind comprised of heart and brain, right and left
hemisphere’s that interact in tandem creating personal experience as subjective
reality. Represented by: 1+1=3
The Vesica Piscis or Mandorla.
The Vagina, or Yoni, represents the doorway to
the center of the Universe – to the “G” spot – the experience of God. Ever
notice how the most common thing we all say when having an orgasm is . . . “Oh
God!” There is a reason . . . believe it or not. J
When we bring creativity into love-making it becomes erotic
and sensuous and very self-gratifying. To find powerful forms of self-expression
is one of the most euphoric feelings we can have. Strong expressions of love and
desire for our lovers help form intimate bonds that often last a life-time.
All experience in the ultimate sense is a
form of imagination or personal interpretation of neutral facts that determine
what qualities we imbue things with, which create certain types of experiences.
We could safely say that sex is 80% imagination, even when we are actually
having it. How we use our mind to create the experience, determines the level of
pleasure it offers as a result. Like most things, if we have bad, mundane or
uninteresting experiences it’s a direct reflection of our own creative ability
and mental attitude to a certain extent. If we simply blame it on our lover, we
are not only making a fundamental error in our thinking, but we are missing the
opportunity to exercise deeper forms of physical expression by how we first
imagine it, “get into it”, act to provoke it, or how we go about it.
The basis of Sacred Sexuality is to bring heightened awareness, absolute
presence and a kind of meditative quality of sensory pleasure and spontaneous
exploration to the sexual act. As with all of life, we are responsible for
creating our own experiences. If we know how to do this and learn to practice it
masterfully, our sex life and ability to create intimate experiences by feeling
at one with our lover, sex becomes enlivening, fresh, and fills us with deep
feelings of desire, openness, and vulnerability. It never becomes boring,
ritualistic or mundane, even though our sexual life goes through cycles and
stages just like every other aspect of our life does. Each experience is
perceived as new, immediate and fully open to whatever the moment calls for.
Spontaneity and provocative playfulness must be maintained and encouraged.
Sex is
meant to be fulfilling at all levels of our being, not just with the aim of
having an orgasm. In Sacred Sexuality, the orgasm is not the actual goal. It is
the ability to become fully enthralled with sensuous pleasure that we
consciously build and intensify while holding and maintaining it at a heightened
level of pleasure that is just short of the actual orgasm. This not only
increases our ability to handle more intense forms of energy, but allows us to
feel intense pleasure for extended periods of time, rather than a quick fix, or
sex that lasts 5 minutes. In Kundalini, we must develop the ability to handle
much stronger currents of energy without blowing a circuit. Tantra teaches us
how to do this.
Sex as an experience of intense love, is extremely gratifying emotionally, as
affection that is deeply nourishing, mentally comforting, and promotes feelings
of safety that allow for complete surrender and abandon, which is only possible
through intimate trust and acceptance by and of our lover. As with all creative
expression we have a range that serves a variety of moods – whether sweetly and
with great tenderness, or playfully teasing and flirting . . . or aggressive and
somewhat animalistic. Whatever serves the imagination and seems appropriate in
the moment as a playful and erotic dance between sensuous lovers that is born in
the moment and allowed to take on a life of its own.
To meditate during sex,
or intimate moments of giving and receiving warm delicious affection, is to
relax into your body, turn your attention inward and become fully engrossed in
the physical sensations that are consuming you with tantalizing pleasure. To
focus on the sensuous experience of touch, texture and temperature, wet and
moist, or soft and dry . . . or the exotic image of beauty, dreamy and
impressionistic, soft flowing curves with no distinct lines. Perhaps your inner
response to the smell of warm skin, and the moist breath falling around you like
morning dew teasing your mouth to explore and lick as if caressing with your
fingertips. Get lost in the moment, and allow time to stand still and disappear
from your awareness. Step into the flow and allow your body to respond
intimately to/with your lovers every move.
Allow the energy
to move through you, as you. Don’t try to contain it, hold it back or make it
wrong. Instead allow and encourage by how you respond to it. Be present in the
midst of intense pleasure while holding it in your body for prolonged periods.
Build and intensify, then hold momentarily . . . then relax. Teach your body how
to hold higher levels of pleasure without exploding and expanding. Relish in it
and allow it to consume you with complete abandon. Then, when you do decide to
have your orgasm together, it will reach higher levels of intense pleasure,
while lasting much longer. You will be able to experience the intensity of an
orgasm for longer periods while not becoming overwhelmed. You will literally
train your body and mind how to have greater and greater levels of pleasure. And
the best part . . . you share it with your lover as the greatest gift of love,
co-created as pure experience.
All experience is first
created in the imagination as a reflection of our “mood” or state of mind. We
create an inner experience that becomes the organizing factor of our outer
experience. We create it on the inside, then project out onto our environment
and create a corresponding expression through how we “emotionally interpret”
things to give them meaning. The meaning forms the basis for the “type”
experience we create as a result. This is the fundamental basis of
“self-expression”. Our true creative ability lies in our capacity and skill for
creating desired experiences. We do this primarily by first recognizing what
“feeling” we are longing for, then placing our attention on that feeling,
holding it in our mind’s eye, noticing what the sensation is in our body, and
allowing a kind of story to emerge out of it as a natural expression that is
allowed and uncensored. The story demonstrates what type of experience will give
us that feeling. Feelings have whole stories inherent in them as part of their
archetypal nature.
Our ability to not only
imagine vividly, but experience fully comes by way of awakening our senses and
using them to create intoxicating sensual experiences of a deeply erotic nature.
We have to marry eros to logos, use the emotional quality to fill and activate
the mental impression. Bring back our sensuality as a means of animating mental
images with provocative qualities of being that excite and enliven us.
Qualities, embodied and expressed sensuously enhance our ability to cultivate
deeply gratifying states of erotic beauty while exercising our creative powers
to first create our internal state, then express ourselves, while having the
experience our own creation.
Because we live in a
society that is largely left-brained, overly intellectual and addicted to
technology, we often lack the emotional skills and awareness necessary to
directly connect to and become apart of our environment. Our ability to
feel fully present in our bodies while merging with our immediate experience has
become dulled and unpracticed. This has resulted in the resigned,
lack-luster society that endlessly indulges in mundane mediocrity and has
settled into a lifeless existence that we call normal. We must retrain our
minds to embrace our sensual nature and the pleasure that comes from learning
how to increase our emotional energy that arouses our mind igniting our
imagination with a sense of passion. When we become passionate thinkers,
the life we create is intoxicating and erotic, vivid and seductive, relentlessly
calling us on. No place is this ability more enriching than when we engage
fully in the art of love-making.
So we begin by intentionally creating the experiences designed to awaken our
senses and enliven our bodies with erotic sensations that arouse our soul to
higher states of consciousness. Merging with the Beloved, becoming one with
God, is symbolized by the experience of blending into another and loosing
ourselves in euphoric states of eternal bliss. The experience of intense love
that consumes the mind, body and emotions through a heightened and prolonged
orgasm serves as a metaphor for the intense pleasure of merging back into and
becoming one with our Creator. As above, so below, in our sexual experiences,
like all of life, we are at once the creators, the creation itself, while having
the experience of our creation. No place is this more evident than embracing the
love of creating while seeking atonement of mind, body and spirit into the same
act.
In order to do this we
must retrain our mind and body to work in-sync and increase our ability to
receive pleasure, give it and become one-with it. Like learning the skills
necessary for becoming the creator of any art-form, we must develop the ability
for heightened sensory experience, and the ability to cultivate and maintain
deep forms of pleasure for prolonged periods of time.
Exercise
for enhanced sensory pleasure of the body/mind:
·Decide
on what type of experience you wish to create – either as an expression of your
current mood, or by embodying the qualities necessary to “create” your mood.
·Create
the proper ambiance for the “type” of experience desired so that it will unfold
naturally. The environment that will elicit the same mood in your lover. This
can be low lighting, candles, burning incense or potpourri, soft music, sexy
attire or partial nudity, etc. (Think in terms of invoking as many senses as
possible – visual, sound, smells, touch, taste, etc.)
·Create
the proper setting or stage – arrange the bed, use soft blankets, or silky
sheets, arrange a place on the floor, someplace where you have full access to
their body, and they to yours.
·Have
your lover put on a blind fold (removes distractions), and lay comfortably
relaxed propped up by pillows. The visual aspect should be in what is being
imagined through the other senses. Your lover has to fully receive the pleasure
you are giving them, and their only response is in showing you what they like by
moaning or moving their body (this way you get to know their pleasure zones).
·In
using touch and feeling sensations, think of as many different forms of touch
that you can that are all done with your body. Fingers, hands, nails, running
your body along theirs, pressing with different intensities, using the tip of
your tongue, whole tongue, tickling, licking and sucking, gentle biting,
stroking with your hair, blowing on their skin, etc.
·Using
sound intentionally as a form of expression, make a variety of sounds that match
the touch. Soft lingering moans, deep breathing, grunting, deep belly sounds,
whispering sexy gestures, giggling, deep sighing, and whatever else feels right
in the moment. Or match the touch to the rhythm of whatever music is playing.
·As
you explore with your face and mouth, you take in all the smells and tastes.
Become familiar with them. Associate them to your feelings of sexual arousal and
how incredible it feels to give pleasure to your lover. Explore and taste all
areas of their body while making sounds that express your pleasure.
·Then,
after fully explored and consumed, switch roles, and start again. :-)
Practice this, or
experiences similar to this and it will allow your body to come alive, your
emotions to soar, and your mind to feel the deep pervading sense of inner peace
as the sweet afterglow of desire satisfied fully with deep feeling of love
expressed with the body. The greatest healing power there is, is the
energy directed through human touch while filled with deep feelings of love.
While we tend to describe “human needs” in terms of physical survival, loving
touch, energy infused with emotions of love and directed with intention, is the
greatest healing power there is, and the primary “spiritual need” of our soul.
Tantra is the practice of mastering the sexual energy of the
body commonly referred to as the "Kundalini" or "serpent energy" because of it's
"arousing" sensation and it's ability to increase the "life force" energy not
only of the body itself, but all the other energy centers that it passes through
and activates them to full velocity.
When it is cultivated in sexual union between two people, it
allows the experience of true intimacy, union and energetic integration of two
people that is the real basis for spiritual freedom and enlightenment. The act
of uniting fully and completely with another is symbolic of uniting with our
Universal Source.
It requires us to
master the primary fears and inhibitors that prevent us from fully expressing in
the world. That cause us to close down or reduce the amount of energy we are
capable of allowing to flow through our body without overwhelming us, driving us
mad, or "burning" us out. We learn how to manage a much greater capacity for
life force energy to move through us and into the world.
Though we can say that all relationships are
Karmic (cause & effect), ones that stem from previous lives together are always
marked with emotional intensity of some form. Karmic relationships offer our
greatest lessons for learning and resolving issues, or bringing an opportunity
for forgiveness in areas we have failed to resolve in the past. The lessons that
are "karmic" in nature, will be deep, personal and will require us to tap into
latent potential and inner strength to resolve.
This does not mean that they are negative in
nature, simply intense and activate strong emotional reactions in us of dynamic
patterns that are still alive within us, this is why we have carried them
forward.
Sexual Energy is the "Life Force" that fuels and arouses the entire system.
It's the movement of polarity as the primal flow of life force that seeks
self-expression through self-actualization as pure pleasure. Opposites attract,
gravitate towards one another in a form of swirling dance, that seeks union with
another as the experience of itself. To feel apart of something greater than
ourselves is the relentless longing in every human's heart for the experience of
wholeness and ultimate love.
All of life can be described as a motivating force that is
constantly in the state of "becoming" by self-creating.
When two bodies
and spirits connect in an erotic embrace - their bodies unite as one - they can
literally feel the other inside of them in a rhythmic flow is one of the
greatest pleasures we can know, and it is the only thing that will truly satisfy
us in a lasting and deeply meaningful way. It responds intimately to the craving
in our hearts.
When we bring an attitude of sensuality to affectionate
moments, they become beautiful, expressive and highly enlivening. Nothing causes
us to become more fully present than when we are experiencing deep forms of
pleasure with our body.
To give and
receive love through "touch" is the greatest healing force their is. Energy
flows not only where thoughts go, but activate the same "quality" of the
thoughts. When we are in a very loving state-of-mind, we only perceive what
warrants love and adoration. When we touch another while in that state, the
quality of energy is transferred into them, activating the same qualities.
Nothing heals the human spirit like being "touched" with the vibratory essence
of pure love in physical form.
Create the proper environment . . ambiance, Create a
sensual experience, incense, subdued lighting for soft lines . . . dress in
something that makes you feel incredibly sexy . . . then embody the rhythm of
the music and "let it dance you" . . .
Seductive Love-Making
Create the proper environment to set the mood . . . include
as many "sensual" effects as possible . . . lighting effects, incense or scented
candles, soft silky material, essential oils or perfumes in selected spots on
your body designed to "lead" and entice . . . . . play seductive music, make
sensuous sounds, as you move your body and use your hands artistically . . . and
move seductively to the rhythm of the music . . .
